Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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