He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How does one acquire holy water?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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