Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
