So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was confusing and full of hummus
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
