a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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