my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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