adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
