just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
