Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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