So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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