There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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