You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
my liver is dry heaving
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
