I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
