it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
