You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
