What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
