Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
