he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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