so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize
