Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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