I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
