69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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