I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
