i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
