she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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