Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Randomize
