Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
