Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
