Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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