Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
that's an acceptable place to lick
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
