So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
