If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Your penis caused this!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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