Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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