yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
