Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
