I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I miss vodka workout Fridays
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
