Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
