I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
