Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
