the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
