i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
