i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
