She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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