life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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