i think my mom watched the whole time
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
