it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
