I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
