i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
