I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
