The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
