I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
