oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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